It's been forever

Okay it's been a long time since I've posted anything, a whole lot has happened, not enough to blog and talk about in one post on my mobile phone, but to keep it shor and sweet, I've been working super hard, and I've been through hell with my mental and emotional state at times because of what people do and say, and the maturity level here at times is compeltely childish, none the less, the day was a great one well the evening rather.. It's true, when you go through pain and suffering with practicing people nd music and failures, there is a light atthe end of the tunnel and today was it, we played what seemed like a perfect show in the most random times of tour... We are not doing shows right now, just constant practice and preparation. But today I remembered why I even picked up drum sticks and learned music because I experienced the best euphoria and almost out of body experience ever. It is hard to explain and the amazin part is that I'm not the only one that felt it, it was like the whole drum corps was connected in the moment and played and performed what felt and sound and looked flawless. Sometimes I wonder why I'm here and I hate the anger and negativity I feel, but today reminded me of why I am here it took weeks to remember. That high is the feeling I was chasing after.

I pray everyday for God to give me strength physically mentally and spiritually, and there are times where I had to just lock myself in the bathroom or quiet place get on my knees and weep, those days are the worst, yet eveytime I give everything to Him a blessing of peace and victory comes right in time, I was worried that when I got Here I wouldn't grow spiritually, but I feel like I'm on fire and being tested everyday. I just hope it will all pay off in the end, 1st place would be nice but that perfect show and feeling of joy we all had today, I feel was a glimpse of what is to come, for now, I'm trying to make God number one even when I have no one. It was a good day, and I know more will come if I keep my head up..